It is almost midnight, and we leave tomorrow at 2:30 PM for Germany. In these last moments I can't help but reflect on things I will miss. One thing that I am sure I will miss is John McCain's acceptance speech. Though I think I know how it will go.......
Thank you. Thank you. I accept your nomination to be America's first maverick President of the United States. ( Wild Applause) Yes, America, I aim to shake things up when I get elected. My appointments will send a message to the world that America is back on track. Already you have seen the wisdom of my first appointment. How about that Sarah Palin, isn't she ready to lead on day one. (Euphoric Applause). But I will not stop there. During my long, torturous captivity in the Hanoi Hilton, I never gave up HOPE that someday I would be able to show the feeble minded Washington elite how to win wars, and how to run a government of the people and for the people. So I will continue to make appointments that will make Washington dizzy with my maverickness. Look, do you know that I have examined the history of the Department of Labor, and there has never been a Secretary who has actually been in labor. WOMEN, I will change that when I appoint MICHELLE Duggar as my Secretary of Labor- a women blessed with 17 children, and one on the way! And how about Diana Ross on the Supreme court. She has been a Supreme for 40 years! Baby love, if she isn't qualified, who is? How about my own Cindy for Secretary of the Treasury. She has never trusted me with managing her wealth, and she has been giving me an earful about managing yours, for good reason. (GREAT LAUGHTER). But she has done a great job in our family, and she will do a great job for your family. For Secretary of STATE, I will just keep Condi, because if she is good enough for George W. Bush, she is good enough for ME. Now men, don't think I am just pandering to women. I know there are a great many qualified men in America. For my Secretary of Defense I want someone who can tackle the big problems, and who better than Illinois's own, Brian Urlacher! And for the Department of Transportation, NASCAR's own Dale Earnhardt Jr. Now I will bet he will get you moving.
Yes America, I am a Maverick, and that is with a capital M. Elect me as your next president, and I will give you a government of Americans we can all be proud of.
Well, that is how I imagine it, anyway.
Take care. We are all packed. I think we have close to 400 pounds worth of stuff. I'll give you the exact number in my next post....from Dresden.
Goodnight.
2 comments:
Her Daughter is Preggers!! OMG! seriously though
http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN2944356420080901?pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=10112
This dumb post was inspired by an even dumber piece by David Brooks in the NYT last week. In all seriousness, I am reminded of a line in Obama's acceptance speech, "We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country." I just can't imagine what mother would put her daughter through this public exposure at such a difficult time for her. I mean the whole world now knows that she got pregnant by her high school boyfriend. It was in all the European papers. I just feel so sorry for the daughter.
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